Dr. Oz had Dr. Jennifer Ashton, author of The Body Scoop for Girls: A Straight-Talk Guide to a Healthy, Beautiful You
Dr. Ashton said that 15% of the time a condom leaks or breaks, which I was shocked to hear, because condoms are always promoted as 99.99% safe. So everyone out there who is sexually active and does not want a baby should definitely use alternative protection (like birth control pills), though this still doesn’t help with respect to STD’s.
So what did the girls ask about sex, that they were too scared to ask their moms?
Question: Can a doctor tell if you are sexually active or have had sex before?
Answer: The hymen is a thin band of tissue that gets stretched when you have sex. It is like going to the store and trying on a new turtleneck versus a turtleneck that has been tried on a few times by other people (it is less tight around you neck). However, everyone is a bit different, so even a doctor cannot tell for sure if you have had sex and are sexually active.
Question: Can you get pregnant from anal sex?
Answer: All you need is one sperm to get pregnant, and if you are having anal sex, the penis is very close to the vaginal opening and a sperm can easily get in even if you are careful. Also, anal sex is very dangerous because it creates microscopic tears in your anus and thus puts you at a higher risk for infections and diseases.
Question: Do you feel there is a double standard for girls and guys regarding sex?
Answer: Dr. Oz, as well as some of the parents and teenage daughters, discussed the double standard that exists regarding sex. Everyone agreed that parents are more worried and concerned about their daughters having sex than if their sons are sexually active. One thing that wasn’t discussed was what can be done to get rid of this double standard. I would love to hear your opinion on this topic (please comment below!!!)
Question: How do you know the right time to have sex?
Answer: I was pleasantly surprised to see a teenage girl ask this… I wonder if she was told to ask this question! Dr. Ashton agreed that it shows a lot of maturity to even ask a question like this. Ashton said that you should make the decision of when it is right to have sex after having conversations with your parents and doctors. Having sex is an adult activity, so if you should only begin to have sex when you are ready to take on adult-like responsibilities.
Question: How can you make it less awkward to have the sex talk with your daughter?
Answer: Talk to friends and doctors and begin the sex dialogue before you think it is necessary. We make our kids embarrassed often by showing our own embarrassment. Dr. Ashton suggested that talking when in the car and driving somewhere can be a great time for parents, because they can grip tightly on the wheel. You should take advantage of any moment that seems right. And don’t feel that you have to have the “whole” sex talk in one shot; you can have lots of mini talks. The more you talk about it, the less awkward it will feel.
Question: When should you begin talking about sex with your daughter?
Answer: You should work backwards to figure out a good timeline. African American girls get their period at age 11 on average; whereas Caucasian girls get their period at age 12 on average. At the same time as their period, they start to get breasts, hormones, pubic hair and generally go through puberty. So around the age of 8 you should start talking about anatomy using the correct words (penis, vagina, etc.). From 8 – 11 years old you should begin discussing the basics of sex. Age 11 and over you should really kick it up a notch with the sex conversations so that your teenager is comfortable to talk to you about anything.
Now, on to a quick sex quiz… what is FICTION and what is FACT:
Sex Quiz Question #1: Any disease you can get from intercourse, you can also get from having oral sex and anal sex. Fact or Fiction?
Sex Quiz Question #2: Herpes is a sexually transmitted infection. Fact or Fiction?
Sex Quiz Question #3: Chlamydia is easily treatable. Fact or Fiction?
Sex Quiz Answer #1: FACT – Any STD (genital warts, HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis) that you can get from sex, you can also get from oral sex and anal sex. Dr. Ashton said instead of getting genital warts like you do from regular sex, you get warts in your throat if you have oral sex from someone who has the disease. If that doesn’t gross you out enough to be extremely careful and get tested first, I don’t know what will!
Sex Quiz Answer #2: FACT – Herpes is a sexually transmitted infection that 1 in 5 adults has and there is absolutely no cure, just treatments for herpes. So if you get herpes, you are stuck with it for life.
Sex Quiz Answer #3: Chlamydia is easy to treat with antibiotics, but if you don’t have any symptoms (which happens sometimes with chlamydia) then the chlamydia can actually create so much scar tissue that you become infertile.
Did you know that 1 in 3 high school students are now having sex. Even more scary than that statistic is the fact that teenagers are now have anal sex when they become bored with regular sex. In fact, 1 in 10 heterosexual teenagers have experimented with anal sex, which is extremely risky and highly increases your chances of getting an infection or disease. One reason that teens are becoming “bored” so quickly is because they are beginning their relationships with hook-ups and going straight to being physical. So please take the time to talk to your daughters and make sure they are educated and aware of the risks and consequences.
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- Dr. Oz: How to Detect Cancer Early with Signs of Pain
- Dr. Oz: The Couple’s Diet – Terri and Ed
- Dr. Oz: 5 Tips to Beat the Winter Blues
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Your show today destroyed and sunk my support to the bottom of the well. According to the CDC condoms are “highly effective”..98% effective..when used correctly and consistently…… but your producers were irresponsible in allowing your guest to put out erroneous statistics. “15% failure rate”? Even if we consider non-consistent use the stat is around 12%. And why wouldn’t one use it correctly or consistently? Why? Because, sexuality education has not been normalized in our culture. You said it yourself today on your show that you are just now talking to your daughters about sex. The necessary education is simply not happening. The only thing happening is the shock…. when it all goes wrong. You know…babies in dumpsters and such.
The research is clear, when kids think condoms don’t work they won’t use them, plain and simple. And the fact that a well respected doctor, like yourself, who, daily, touches tens of thousands of lives sensationalizes his show with the word ‘shocking” and then proceeds to admit to not having a life- long discussion with his own daughters about their sexual health make me….well…I won’t say.
In the meantime, I will continue to work to make sure that kids know how to use condoms correctly and stress to them the need to use them ALL the time. This entire show was about girls talking about other girls. Not new. Not helpful, just perpetuating old stereotypes about girls’ sexual roles and the permission for boys to absent from the discussion. No boys…how come? If the producers were really on their game they would have addressed the issue of behavioral outcomes, not attitudinal outcomes. And this is the crux of the issue. Attitudes are one thing but it’s the resulting behavior, not the attitudes, that leads teens to the sad consequences of unprepared, premature sexual activity. Having this guest on your show has unintended consequences that you will never see…but I will…I work in the trenches….wow…this show was such a negative blow.
here’s another link….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo9VK8vDi7s hope you consider this